I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just gift wrapped bread.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize