We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
