You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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