She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
