I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
