nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
