I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
