it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
