Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize