i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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