Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
