He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Operation Purity has been aborted
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
