so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
