The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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