Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
