I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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