but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
