At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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