I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
