just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
