pedialite and red bull = repair kit
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
