she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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