I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Found the puke drawer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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