Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
