my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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