turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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