Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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