Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
