i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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