My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
