good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
