Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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