i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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