apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
