my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
