sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize