If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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