Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
