Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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