shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize