I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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