he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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