He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
