Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
