areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
