chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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