I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
