Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I love having hate sex.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
