I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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