Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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