ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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