she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
