Screwed.edu
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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