There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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