How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
