This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
