Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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