Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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