Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
