Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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