Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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