He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize